Chasing the Demons Away

 

It’s not everyday you meet a witch at your bus stop.

A silent snow, the normal routine: 9:43am, it’s time to catch the bus to church. Coffee has yet to touch my lips, so it takes a minute before I understand what’s going on. All I see is a fur-covered woman carrying a mask that is the stuff of nightmares. She lights a cigarette, as we wait for our now late bus into town, as if it’s completely acceptable to be traipsing around in her ancient garb. What in the world is happening?

Oh, right. It’s Fasching time. It’s the day of the parade.

An old pagan tradition, once a year the citizens of certain towns gather around as others dressed as Witches, Bears, and other such symbols of evil parade through town. These evil creatures are given free reign to cause trouble, even to the point of “kidnapping” people to take with them, as long as they make their way out of town. If we can just chase the demons out, then they will take the evil of winter with them.

It seems silly, really. A parade to chase away winter’s demons. Oh, how my heart wishes it were true. If that were all it took to get rid of demons, I’d make a fool of myself all day long. But it doesn’t work that way, does it?

Those demons don’t care how loud you shout or scream. They are still there, waiting in the corners of your soul. The horrors of the past, the fear of what could be, and the ever-present ability to live so unhumanly.

There’s a reason we keep a screen in front of us or our nose in a book. Whether it be the buzz of a TV or your fourth shot of tequila, escape from silence is our pursuit. For if we were to let the silence speak, oh the horrors it would tell us. Your worst fears, insecurities, and character traits, front and center in quiet’s unshrouded light.

If there were a way to chase the demons away, I would give anything.

But evil doesn’t work that way. Evil is not a darkly cloaked woman. It’s not a force that lives alongside us, fighting for our souls. No, it’s trickier than that, more pervasive. Some have suggested that it’s like a parasite, making it’s home in the very tissue of that which is good. It twists, corrupts, and perverts, yes, but it does so to something that was there before it.

Therein lies the problem, for if I were to have what I want, if I were to get to chase the demons away, what unforeseen parts of my soul would I lose in the process? There are no witches without the women who wear their masks.

Maybe that’s why you can never hate evil away? You would always end up hating yourself in the process, injecting the poison even deeper into your veins.

A Church in ReutlingenI guess that’s what I’m asking for, isn’t it? It sounds good and noble to want to get rid of inner demons, but such requests are bourn from disdain, a voice of self-hate.

You can chase away all the witches, bears, and monsters you’d like, but at what cost? Winter will still come back next year.

There has to be a better way. There has to be a deeper salvation.

Still Wandering,

Tony

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