The sun beat against the platform concrete, making it bright enough that my eyes need to squint a bit. I sat on a long-board with my friend as we waited for my train to come. I was going to dare a solo adventure to a town a few villages away, so I could buy a shirt for my brother’s upcoming wedding. My friend was kind enough to come with me to the train station and wait with me.

“Will it ever get better?” he voiced.

The question had been rattling around both of our heads. We had begun seeing more clearly how each of us was bringing a heavy load with us wherever we went, like a hitchhiker and his backpack. No matter how hard we worked, or what kind of discipline we tried to embrace, there it was… waiting for us.

“It has to… but I don’t know when,” I responded.

It’s not that we wanted to give up, but we were heavy hearted. Acute awareness of your brokenness tends to do that to you.

The wind blew strongly. The question lingered  as the train to Reutlingen pulled in before us.

 

—

 

They spoke with passion, and a slight quiver of nervousness in their voice. Tobias, Elias, and Jan wanted to be baptized. They had chosen to do so during the Confirmation Service, so they could join the other 14 year olds from their class during this special church celebration.

I was a bit late to church this morning and so I had to sit in the annex, giving me the ability to see the faces of these young men as they approached the pastor. There was such earnestness in their eyes. I had heard such stories of apathetic Confirmations, but for these guys it took no investigative work to see they meant this.

“You are bound with Christ.

His peace is with you,

He is near.

He will never let you go.”

I could see it in their eyes – these boys received this, believed this. I knew they did, because I was them. Eleven years ago, I was in their place. The purity of belief …before life gets a chance to beat it out of you…, it was in their eyes. It was in my eyes.

I’m not old, but I’m old enough to know a few questions deeply. I’m not at the beginning of this adventure anymore. Sometimes when questions come from long-board conversations, it’s hard to remember how good it really is. Most days, they best move of faith that I have is to live with them… to wake up another day, and do my best to smile at the birds that greet me.

But some days, I get to live more than that. Some days, I wake up and walk into an ancient building. Some days, I get to look into younger eyes that believe without a doubt that it is good to be bound with Christ, that there could be nothing better.

Thank God for younger eyes.

 

Still Wandering,

Tony