Failing Inspiration and Other Things To Not Be Good At
I didn’t know I could be this tired.
Another week, another exam, another hour of your morning being spent trying to figure out how to force a guttural “r” out of your throat.
Another week, another meeting, another round of trying to figure out what it means to contextualize everything you thought was easy to apply everywhere.
Another week, another store, another chance for strangers to give you the strange look because your words are hard to understand.
All of the above hold something in common.
Failure.
Then something snaps, and you crumble. You realize you couldn’t avoid this… that you have to fail awhile longer. Therein is the choice: to submit or to fight. And if you’re lucky, you’ll choose submit. Because in the humility comes healing, at least for a moment. In the surrender comes waiting. In your death comes resurrection.
Remember, you were never in control anyway.
Failing this much takes energy you don’t have. It’s ironic, really. But since when did any of this upside-down Jesus life make sense?